Nyasha Matongo | Nust ZW 19′
4 minute read
…it’s usually mistrust and loneliness that brings emptiness or rather the “d i s t a n c e” in a long distance relationship…
Hey guys welcome to another series of For Her Fridays. After dwelling so much on fashion, makeup and style shall we get into the love lounge? To begin this series, I’m going to talk about long distance relationships.
I’ve noticed that if there’s one thing that people are skeptical about, it’s long distance relationships. I tried to find out why and it’s usually mistrust and loneliness that brings emptiness or rather the “distance” in a long distance relationship. Based on my current personal experiences and lessons from other people, I’m going to talk about how you can pull through a long distance relationship.
I can’t say I’ve always been negative about long distance relationships. Maybe it’s because I just never had the chance to be in any. I have seen people breaking up and others cheating and others entering an “open relationship” phase (I still don’t understand how this works) because long distance had become unbearable.
All this ends up happening because people would have allowed a gap to be created especially if they used to be in closer proximity. From my understanding, it all goes back to the importance of knowing your love languages as according to Gary Chapman. Discover what you guys individually like and make the most of it whilst one of you is away. For example, I like it when my bf helps me do something no matter how small. It could even be just holding my umbrella.
So when I’m away like this, he still finds something to help me with be it proof reading my blogs, helping me plan my day or week or anything he might be able to help with. Gosh that gets me sooo happy (you’ll understand why when I talk about love languages in my next For Her Friday post).
Gifts can be a great way of making your bae think about you
…seeing all those cute and crazy pictures reminds me that I have something beautiful to hold on to…
By positivism I mean how much you believe in your couple. Someone would literally declare the relationship over in her mind just because “all boys cheat” anyway. Yea, that could be true, boys cheat, men don’t.
The first thing you need to do is to believe that you can make it. You can never expect something to work when you don’t believe that it can work for you. Although I’d never been in a long distance relationship, I told myself to focus on the positive things that could result from it and I had to see myself pulling through. Stop thinking about all the negative things that could happen. Your life is shaped by what you think.
The next thing I (I’d rather say we) did was to prepare ourselves for it. How? Spend as much time as possible with your loved one before one of you goes away. Deliberately make an investment into your relationship by creating memories.
Take walks, just sit on a park bench and tell your bf what you really like about him and what you’ll miss. Don’t let the separation be an abrupt event, make it gradual at least 2-3 months. Another great way of doing this is taking lots pictures if you like pictures. There are times when I just browse my gallery and seeing all those cute and crazy pictures reminds me that I have something beautiful to hold on to.
After being separated by distance one thing bae and I have done is to have quality time despite being in two different parts of the country. These days technology has made communication easier and you really need to make use of it. One of the things we do is making video calls and tallllllk. This doesn’t only feel awesome, it actually makes you feel like you are not so far from each other.
C’mon, he’s just a call away not hundreds of kilometers after all. If you can’t do video calls, do voice calls or anything that keeps the two of you in touch. If you don’t talk to him someone will and this could even be his own mind which leads to suspicion and suspicion leads to…. Yea, you got it right (I’m just assuming you did lol)
The most important thing you need to do if you ever want to pull through a long distance relationship is building your relationship on trust. Some girls can’t even let their boyfriends go out of their sight what more if he now has to be away from you? I talked about 5 things girls do that guys hate and lack of trust is definitely one of them.
I’m sure you’d get irritated too if your bf didn’t trust you. I’ve had many people asking me why I trust my boyfriend so much. Well, I guess it’s because I haven’t caught him. (Hahaha just kidding). My secret is I’ve learnt that trust is the secret to a healthy relationship regardless of distance.
I’m always positive and I never allow any negative forces to influence me. My friends now know this and they even fight any negativity that other people might try to bring. The problem is most of the time we allow other people to influence our relationships when our relationships should influence the world.
Owww this one came from my bf…. “be in touch with his friends and surprise him even when you are not around….” 🙂
So there you have it. Long distance relationships can actually work out and its you and your partner who have to put in the effort. Remember to do the things he loves the most, build trust, be positive and have quality time together even when you’re not together. I hope you enjoyed reading this article and you found it helpful. Please share with me some of your tips in the comments section below and do follow and like my blog.
Reblogged from https://nyashamatongoblog.wordpress.com