Tag Archives: DATING

4 Reasons They Might Be Ghosting You

Dajin Kim | University of Texas at Austin
3 minute read

When it comes to modern day dating, there’s no question that things aren’t the way that they used to be. Instead of meeting people the old fashioned way, Platforms like Tinder and Bumble have taken over the dating world. Although convenient, the use of apps and texting communication has caused a rise of of ghosting. For those who aren’t familiar with the term, “ghosting” refers to when a person that you’ve been romantically chatting with simply ignores you without any explanation. No matter how great you think the date may have gone or how much chemistry is there, you could totally still get ghosted. Not sure why? Take it from the people who have done the ghosting:

They’re scared of hurting your feelings.

One of the main reasons that people get ghosted is because the person doing it simply doesn’t want to deal with having to hurt your feelings. Although we may think that sending a rejection over text is much easier than doing so in person, not responding altogether is even easier. Especially if it’s someone that you wouldn’t necessarily run into on a daily basis, ignoring someone’s text doesn’t seem so bad. Whether it’s gradually texting less and less or completely ignoring them altogether, this is definitely a big one.

Joshua Keys, a senior at the University of North Texas, explains that “sometimes it’s just easier than trying to think up a formal rejection, even if it is through text message. I feel like it would’ve been better than giving a straight rejection.” Not everyone can be as brave as we want them to be, right?

They found someone else.

Although this may sound like one of the worst reasons to ghost someone, some say that the reason for their ghosting is because they simply found someone better for them. This may not make you feel the greatest, but it’s important to remember that this doesn’t mean that they found someone more superior than you, they just found someone with better compatibility for their needs. Most ghosters say that they started to ignore the person they were talking to because they found a bae that they truly wanted to invest in.

M​egan Dibbern, a grad student at the University of Texas at Austin, says that this is a big reason why people go ghost. “I just don’t find it necessary to continue to talk to someone when you know that it’s not going to last,” she explains. “For me, it’s not necessarily that I chose someone over someone else, but I just think of it as going with the better choice for myself.” That makes sense, right?

They don’t feel like it’s worth discussing.

One big reason for ghosting that most people don’t consider is that the relationship didn’t seem serious enough to require an explanation. We know, it’s hard to tell how invested in you someone is, but without communication there’s no way to truly know where your “almost” relationship stands.

Holly Brookshire, a graduate from the University of North Texas, explains her reasoning. “For me, I didn’t think that we were talking long enough for it to require a formal ending,” she says. “I feel like if we’ve only been chatting a little bit for a short period of time, simply not replying anymore sends the message across.”

It’s important to remember that sometimes it’s not always about someone being a jerk, but just differing mindsets. Something that seems okay to one person may not be the same as yours.

Related: 7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Date Someone New 

They’re not motivated enough to keep it going.

Now here’s the big one: Although it may seem like one specific text or message may have ruined the budding relationship, the answer may be a lot simpler than you think. Most people, whether they’re experienced or not, can often lose interest for no reason at all. We all know that the feeling of butterflies in our stomachs and fast heart beats don’t really happen all that easily.

Joe Lee, a sophomore at the University of Texas at Arlington says that this is a main reason he ghosts people. “With my busy schedule, when I’m not super interested in the girl I’m talking to, I just don’t feel motivated to keep it going,” he says. “Honestly, most of the times I just forget to reply.”

It’s hard to find someone who truly makes us feel like we are in love. More often than not, two people feeling that way about each other is very rare, but that’s what makes it special, right?

Curated from Her Campus:
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ATTENTION MALE SPECIES: Date a girl who reads

Vimbai Chinembiri
4 minute read

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or if she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

47% OF UZ STUDENTS HIV+: MISLEADING, ZINASU

how some colleges and other national institutions are going about the release of information on HIV related issues is not only misleading but is unnecessarily causing stigma against students 

The Zimbabwe National Students’ Union (ZINASU) has dismissed a report in the Herald of 20 May 2016 under the headline ‘47pc of UZ students HIV+’ as ‘misleading’ and ‘sensational.’
The story, which is mainly based on comments by the UZ Vice-Chancellor Professor Levi Nyagura, claims that nearly half of the University of Zimbabwe students who recently underwent voluntary HIV testing were positive, prompting the institution to limit inter-residence visits between male and female students.
According to the report, a recent exercise conducted by the UZ showed that 47 percent of students who underwent testing and counselling tested HIV positive.

Speaking about the way in which the herald broke the story, Zinasu National Spokesperson Zivai Mhetu lamented the lack of adherence to journalism ethics by some papers in the country.
It is a public secret that the HIV prevalence rate is high not only among UZ students but also in the country where recent statistics put it at around 15%. That the HIV pandemic is real and is affecting a lot of young people is indisputable but how some colleges and other national institutions are going about the release of information on HIV related issues is not only misleading but is unnecessarily causing stigma against students from various institutions.

Mhetu
Zinasu national spokesperson Zivai Mhetu lamented the lack of adherence to journalism ethics by news media in the country and poor handling of sensitive information by institutions of higher learning.

 

Just last year the National Aids Council (NAC) Midlands provincial coordinator, Mr Mambewu Shumba, said HIV prevalence had shot up in his province due to the ‘generous’ sexual behaviour of students at MSU yet he provided absolutely no research to back this sensational claim.

The UZ has fallen victim to the same type of unguarded release of potentially harmful information.
“If we were to depend solely on the headline in the herald, it is not difficult to see how one can be misled to believe that 47pc of all students at the UZ are HIV positive,”Mhetu said. “Never mind that the story goes on to say that only 47% of students who underwent voluntary testing on campus are actually HIV+. A lot of people just read headlines without reading the entire story so journalists should be responsible on how they come up with them.”

The Zinasu Spokesperson added that the herald report is a perfect example of how important journalism ethics such as truthfulness, credibility and accuracy are often disregarded by reporters who choose to sensationalize issues, a process that can best be described as gutter journalism.
Mhetu also took a swipe at the herald for not providing sufficient information on the subject in question in its story.

“That story suffers from what I would like to call information kwashiorkor,” Mhetu said. “It is silent on exactly how many students were tested in the exercise so as to give a clear picture to the public on the degree of importance that should be given to the results of the exercise. What if only very few students who are not representative of the entire student body at the UZ were tested? Would that warrant the publication of this story whose effect has been to cause alarm and despondency within the UZ student community and the nation at large?”
Turning to the move to ban inter-residence visitations, Mhetu said it was ‘ill-advised’ and ‘misguided.’ He said Professor Levi Nyagura cannot ban inter-hostel visitations solely based on the results of the testing exercise because it does not prove that inter-hostel visitations are the cause of infection for those who were found positive after the testing exercise.

“Exactly how does Professor Nyagura come to the conclusion that those who were found HIV+ during the testing exercise were infected on campus thus warranting his move to bar inter-hostel visitations? Do students have no life out of campus? And are all the students who were tested living on campus when the tests were conducted? Furthermore, is it absolutely impossible and unfathomable that some of those who tested positive were born that way or got infected before coming to the UZ?”
Mhetu further went on to say that attempting to curtail sexual activity by implementing the ban on inter-residence visitations was a futile exercise because ‘the UZ is an institution for adults not primary school children.’
“You cannot stop sexually active people from having sex by barring inter-residence visitations. If they want to have sex they will have sex . Barring of inter-residence visitations is not a new idea at UZ. It was implemented before but it did not stop sexual activity. Students started having sex in open spaces, bushy areas and under trees. The ban is akin to forcing students to practice abstinence when it is not their wish to do so. It will not work. If the UZ Admin is really concerned about the health of students it should endeavour to ensure that protection is made widely available to students. It is sad that all this is happening at a time when students have no voice because the Admin banned SRC elections.”
Mhetu said that the story in the herald and other stories on the high prevalence of HIV in certain colleges are going to affect students on the job market as employers will be prejudiced against graduates from instructions that are said to have high HIV prevalence rates. He warned that students are now most likely going to shy away from getting tested as a result of the herald report which will result in lack of treatment and poor health.

Zinasu Information Department – Press Release

Of stinking opinions ‘Why you mustn’t marry any Zim woman who is 25 years older’

vimbaimandiri

I am not yet 25. I will be 25 soon. I don’t foresee marriage on the table by the time I’m 25. I’m not a seer, I just prefer to get married later than 25, if I get married before 25 it will be a good thing. If I get married after 25 or way after 25 it should still be a good thing.

Now, when I read the article about why one must not marry a woman who is 25 years or older I laughed. I laughed because I thought the author was really funny and had a ‘sweetish’ imagination. In my laughter I was offended, offended because I am a woman. Offended because of the way this author chose to depict a woman’s worth. But then, it was just an opinion-like armpits we all have them-yet some stink.

His opinion ignited a heated debate in the NUST library…

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