Tag Archives: 2018

Pulling through a long distance relationship

Nyasha Matongo | Nust ZW 19′
4 minute read 

…it’s usually mistrust and loneliness that brings emptiness or rather the “d i s t a n c e” in a long distance relationship…

Hey guys welcome to another series of For Her Fridays. After dwelling so much on fashionmakeup and style shall we get into the love lounge? To begin this series, I’m going to talk about long distance relationships.

I’ve noticed that if there’s one thing that people are skeptical about, it’s long distance relationships. I tried to find out why and it’s usually mistrust and loneliness that brings emptiness or rather the “distance” in a long distance relationship. Based on my current personal experiences and lessons from other people, I’m going to talk about how you can pull through a long distance relationship.

I can’t say I’ve always been negative about long distance relationships. Maybe it’s because I just never had the chance to be in any. I have seen people breaking up and others cheating and others entering an “open relationship” phase (I still don’t understand how this works) because long distance had become unbearable.

All this ends up happening because people would have allowed a gap to be created especially if they used to be in closer proximity. From my understanding, it all goes back to the importance of knowing your love languages as according to Gary Chapman. Discover what you guys individually like and make the most of it whilst one of you is away. For example, I like it when my bf helps me do something no matter how small. It could even be just holding my umbrella.

So when I’m away like this, he still finds something to help me with be it proof reading my blogs, helping me plan my day or week or anything he might be able to help with. Gosh that gets me sooo happy (you’ll understand why when I talk about love languages in my next For Her Friday post).

IMG_20180902_165433_716[1]Gifts can be a great way of making your bae think about you

…seeing all those cute and crazy pictures reminds me that I have something beautiful to hold on to…

By positivism I mean how much you believe in your couple. Someone would literally declare the relationship over in her mind just because “all boys cheat” anyway. Yea, that could be true, boys cheat, men don’t.

The first thing you need to do is to believe that you can make it. You can never expect something to work when you don’t believe that it can work for you. Although I’d never been in a long distance relationship, I told myself to focus on the positive things that could result from it and I had to see myself pulling through. Stop thinking about all the negative things that could happen. Your life is shaped by what you think.

The next thing I (I’d rather say we) did was to prepare ourselves for it. How? Spend as much time as possible with your loved one before one of you goes away. Deliberately make an investment into your relationship by creating memories.

Take walks, just sit on a park bench and tell your bf what you really like about him and what you’ll miss. Don’t let the separation be an abrupt event, make it gradual at least 2-3 months. Another great way of doing this is taking lots pictures if you like pictures. There are times when I just browse my gallery and seeing all those cute and crazy pictures reminds me that I have something beautiful to hold on to.

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Make memories and capture them

After being separated by distance one thing bae and I have done is to have quality time despite being in two different parts of the country. These days technology has made communication easier and you really need to make use of it. One of the things we do is making video calls and tallllllk. This doesn’t only feel awesome, it actually makes you feel like you are not so far from each other.

C’mon, he’s just a call away not hundreds of kilometers after all. If you can’t do video calls, do voice calls or anything that keeps the two of you in touch. If you don’t talk to him someone will and this could even be his own mind which leads to suspicion and suspicion leads to…. Yea, you got it right (I’m just assuming you did lol)

The most important thing you need to do if you ever want to pull through a long distance relationship is building your relationship on trust. Some girls can’t even let their boyfriends go out of their sight what more if he now has to be away from you? I talked about 5 things girls do that guys hate and lack of trust is definitely one of them.

I’m sure you’d get irritated too if your bf didn’t trust you. I’ve had many people asking me why I trust my boyfriend so much. Well, I guess it’s because I haven’t caught him. (Hahaha just kidding). My secret is I’ve learnt that trust is the secret to a healthy relationship regardless of distance.

I’m always positive and I never allow any negative forces to influence me. My friends now know this and they even fight any negativity that other people might try to bring. The problem is most of the time we allow other people to influence our relationships when our relationships should influence the world.

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Go-cart racing

Owww this one came from my bf…. “be in touch with his friends and surprise him even when you are not around….” 🙂

So there you have it. Long distance relationships can actually work out and its you and your partner who have to put in the effort. Remember to do the things he loves the most, build trust, be positive and have quality time together even when you’re not together. I hope you enjoyed reading this article and you found it helpful. Please share with me some of your tips in the comments section below and do follow and like my blog.

xoxo

Reblogged from https://nyashamatongoblog.wordpress.com
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Will leave this here …

Zimbabwe election: Troops fire on MDC Alliance supporters

Three people were killed in Zimbabwe’s capital Harare after troops opened fire on rioting opposition supporters, police say.

The government says the army was deployed in central Harare to help police restore order.

The opposition MDC Alliance condemned the crackdown, saying it was a reminder of the “dark days” of Robert Mugabe’s rule.

It alleges that the governing Zanu-PF party has rigged Monday’s elections.

Parliamentary results show Zanu-PF heading for a big majority in the first elections since long-serving ruler Mr Mugabe was ousted from power.

The presidential result has yet to be declared. However, the MDC Alliance insists that its presidential candidate, Nelson Chamisa, won Monday’s election.

European Union monitors have expressed concern over the length of time it is taking to declare the presidential result.

What are the two sides saying?

President Emmerson Mnangagwa was quoted by state broadcaster ZBC as saying: “We hold the opposition MDC Alliance and its whole leadership responsible for this disturbance of national peace, which was meant to disrupt the electoral process.”

He later took to Twitter to urge peace:

Justice Minister Ziyambi Ziyambi said the army had been deployed in Harare to disperse a violent crowd and to restore “peace and tranquillity”.

He added: “The presence of the army is not to intimidate people but to ensure that law and order is maintained. They are there to assist the police.”

A spokesman for Mr Chamisa condemned the deployment of soldiers and the subsequent loss of life.

“Soldiers are trained to kill during war. Are civilians enemies of the state?” he asked.

“There is no explanation whatsoever for the brutality that we saw today.”

Correspondents say the violence was confined to the centre of Harare – an opposition stronghold – while other parts of the country remain calm. Latest reports from the capital suggest the security forces are in control of the streets.

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‘Chaotic scene of burning tyres’

By Pumza Fihlani, BBC News, Harare

Army vehicles and police trucks rolled into Zimbabwe’s main city on Wednesday after the wait for the election results took an ugly turn.

MDC Alliance supporters had been gathering in various parts of Harare since the morning, but when news came that Zanu-PF had won the majority of seats in parliament and that the presidential results were not ready, the previously upbeat mood changed.

Opposition supporters went on the rampage down Harare’s busy streets, heading towards an old Zanu-PF office and carrying large stones, sticks and anything else they could grab along the way. The crowd chanted: “We want Chamisa.”

They believe the election has been stolen, and are demanding the MDC be announced as the winner.

Riot police using water cannon and tear gas arrived to a chaotic scene of burning tyres and an unrelenting crowd. There were hundreds of them. They jeered and pelted the police vans with stones.

In another part of the city where more opposition protesters had gathered, the army used whips to disperse them.

Today’s clashes may not have been on the scale of the “days of old”, where intimidation by security police was the order of the day, but it’s certainly not the peace many had been praising until now. Something has changed here.

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What results have been declared?

The Zimbabwe Electoral Commission (Zec) has announced 140 seats for Zanu-PF so far, and 58 for the MDC Alliance, ZBC state media reported. There are 210 seats in the National Assembly’s lower house.

More than five million people were registered to vote, and there was a high turnout of 70%.

Map of election results. MDC won in the cities but Zanu PF dominated the rural areas

ZBC had reported that the electoral commission would announce the presidential results at 12:30 local time (10:30 GMT) on Wednesday, but only parliamentary results were read out.

The BBC’s Shingai Nyoka reports that the announcement on the presidential poll was not made because representatives of some of the 23 candidates had failed to turn up to verify the results.

A presidential candidate needs more than 50% of the vote to win outright. Otherwise, a run-off election will be held on 8 September.

What are election observers saying?

The EU mission has criticised the delay in announcing the presidential results. Zec has until Saturday to do so.

People queuing to vote
Image captionThe electoral commission says 70% of registered voters took part in the election

It said it had observed several problems, including media bias, voter intimidation and mistrust in the electoral commission, adding that there was an “improved political climate, but un-level playing field and lack of trust”.

This is the first time in 16 years that the government has allowed EU and US election monitors into the country.

The African Union mission has said the elections “took place in a very peaceful environment” and “were highly competitive”.

It added that it could not confirm opposition parties’ complaints of vote-buying, intimidation by the state and bias by traditional leaders.

A preliminary report by the Southern African Development Community (Sadc) observers said the elections were largely peaceful and conducted in accordance with the law.

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More on post-Mugabe Zimbabwe

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Meet the frontrunners:

Emmerson Mnangagwa, Zanu-PF

Emmerson Mnangagwa at a rally in Harare, ZimbabweImage copyrightAFP
  • Known as “the crocodile” because of his political shrewdness – his party faction is known as “Lacoste”
  • Accused of masterminding attacks on opposition supporters after the 2008 election
  • Thought to be 75 years old, he promises to deliver jobs and is seen as open to economic reforms
  • Survived several alleged assassination attempts, blamed on supporters of ex-President Mugabe.

Read more: The ‘crocodile’ who snapped back

Nelson Chamisa, MDC Alliance

Nelson Chamisa at a rally in Harare, ZimbabweImage copyrightREUTERS
  • His skull was fractured when beaten up by state security agents in 2007
  • Became an MP at 25, a cabinet minister at 31 and could become the youngest president at 40
  • A recently qualified pastor, he has been using the hashtag #GodIsInIt for his campaign
  • Has promised to rebuild the country’s devastated economy, but has been criticised for making extravagant promises – such as the introduction of a high-speed bullet train and bringing the Olympics to Zimbabwe
Source BBC News