Category Archives: Opinion

Diary of a Zimbo Studying Abroad:Fitting in New Shoes

One minute read

The world has developed an addiction to social media. There is a constant need to check the notifications panel, check your likes and be responding to a text every two minutes.

My fellow Zimbabwean friends and family are helping out to credit the first two sentences, ever online or updating their status on Whatsapp.

Family and friends are two of the greatest assets life can ever present. They are the gifts we value in a way that we would like to chat with them all day. My school work here at university has barred most of the surface level fun and deep social media conversations, but I respond quickly to their critical texts.

Immersing myself into life at Ashesi University has created a new vista in me. I have found myself ever occupied by academia and clubs. I have little or no time to have strings of long conversations for hours on end on social media anymore. I have utilized most of the short time I get to be present and soak up the Ashesi diversity.

My friends and family back home in Zimbabwe see the need for constant communication, same as me.

However, a few now understand the reasons for my recent slow text backs and stagnant profile and believe I am trying my best. It is easy for many to think that I’ve shunned them since I have left the country, but really I am trying to live.

Our humor is different right now. I am in my shoes. They are in their shoes. It’s difficult for them to fit in my shoes. They are now trying to fit in. I wrote chapters with them. I am grateful they are now coping with me being away in my new environment. They will learn that it is time for me to write more chapters here at Ashesi.

Curated from USAP Perspectives: http://www.edmattersafrica.org
Advertisements

WednesdayWisdom :Salary Explained

Joseph Nyamayaro | Nust ZW

Less than a minute read

Salary, is a specific amount of money that an employee is paid for work done.

Research has shown that the poorest group of people in the world are salary earners, next to beggars.

They live in a vicious cycle of poverty managed on 30 days. They continuously wait for it every month and any slight delay brings about heartbreaking anxiety, pressure and disappointment.

*Salary Is a short term solution to a life time problem.*

Salary alone cannot solve your money problems. You need multiple sources of income to balance.

The tax returns form contains about 11 income streams, salary is just one.

Don’t live your life fishing with just one hook, there are many fishes in the ocean.

*Salary Is the value someone has put on your effort.*

*How much do you value yourself?*

You can’t increase in value, unless you VALUE yourself differently.

Life Is a trade off between time, effort and reward. To be rewarded more, you have to become more valuable.

Most salary earners end up poor in the long and short term.

*Salary is the bribe they give you to forget your dreams*.

Kindly DIGEST my words…. It’s time to wake-up !!!

Think investments today
Think multiple streams of income
*Goodmorning good people🌹🌻🌼*

Diary of a Zimbo Studying Abroad: Finding the Good

4 minute read

It seems like I have been here in North Carolina for only a few days but apparently two months have passed since I left home in Zimbabwe.

People ask me how my first entrance into the USA was and I always burst into laughter first before I tell them the ordeal –  that my flight got cancelled after waiting for it for 6 hours, that I could not contact anyone because my sister accidentally locked me out of my WhatsApp account as soon as I left home, how I almost spent the night on the floor of the Newark airport, eyes red from crying.

It has been a hard transition right from the starting point, but as you will notice, I have learned to laugh it out, and then to go on. 

I would be lying if I said I haven’t reached a moment when I felt I couldn’t go on. There have been times when I felt like going crazy because people couldn’t decipher my Zimbabwean accent and kept on telling me to repeat my words more than twice.

I got to the point where I decided not to say anything unless asked.  Then one day in the biology laboratory, an American girl walked up to me and said, “Are you French?  You have a cute French accent.” I laughed so hard before telling her that I was Zimbabwean.

She is the first real friend I made, one who became so eager to learn about Zimbabwe and about me as a person. I never thought I was going to make friends, but I finally found my kind of people, right in the almost all-white crowds of students.  It feels so better to have just a few people really eager to get to know me than to have crowds pretending to like me.   

On the tenth of October, I met Carlos Alvarez and his family, a multimillionaire businessman, originally from Mexico; I learned that it is he who pays my and my big USAP sister Kim Bako’s tuition and fees. His daughter is a Davidson alumni, Class of 2002 and his vision, inspired by the solid education she received from Davidson, has always been to improve the diversity at Davidson by bringing in high-achieving, low-income international students like myself from all over the world. Mr. Alvarez and his family are not only generous, but also very kind. He also grew up in a family that was struggling to survive on a small business and in our conversation, he constantly he reminded me of how special I was and how I motivated him.

As he introduced me as the most recent Alvarez scholar, I found myself thinking that it does not matter how many people do not understand me because I am African, or how my job in the dining services can be so tiring or the drop in grades that welcomed me to college as I try to learn the differences in the U.S. academic system.

What matters is that there is a lot of good in the world if people can still show this much love to someone they do not even know, someone who will not necessarily bring any benefit to them. There is so much good in me too, and I can make a difference in the world. 

I have fallen in love with Davidson College. After these two short months in North Carolina, I cannot imagine myself anywhere else. I love the small town of Davidson too, the soft music I hear in the shop nearby when I take a walk in the evening, the old African-American couple from a local church who said they wished they could adopt me, and my host family who always find time in their busy schedules to make my transition to Davidson smoother. I will forever be grateful to USAP and Education Matters, to Davidson and the Alvarez family, for the incredible gift to see life from this perspective.  

Curated from USAP Perspective:http://www.edmattersafrica.org

Pulling through a long distance relationship

Nyasha Matongo | Nust ZW 19′
4 minute read 

…it’s usually mistrust and loneliness that brings emptiness or rather the “d i s t a n c e” in a long distance relationship…

Hey guys welcome to another series of For Her Fridays. After dwelling so much on fashionmakeup and style shall we get into the love lounge? To begin this series, I’m going to talk about long distance relationships.

I’ve noticed that if there’s one thing that people are skeptical about, it’s long distance relationships. I tried to find out why and it’s usually mistrust and loneliness that brings emptiness or rather the “distance” in a long distance relationship. Based on my current personal experiences and lessons from other people, I’m going to talk about how you can pull through a long distance relationship.

I can’t say I’ve always been negative about long distance relationships. Maybe it’s because I just never had the chance to be in any. I have seen people breaking up and others cheating and others entering an “open relationship” phase (I still don’t understand how this works) because long distance had become unbearable.

All this ends up happening because people would have allowed a gap to be created especially if they used to be in closer proximity. From my understanding, it all goes back to the importance of knowing your love languages as according to Gary Chapman. Discover what you guys individually like and make the most of it whilst one of you is away. For example, I like it when my bf helps me do something no matter how small. It could even be just holding my umbrella.

So when I’m away like this, he still finds something to help me with be it proof reading my blogs, helping me plan my day or week or anything he might be able to help with. Gosh that gets me sooo happy (you’ll understand why when I talk about love languages in my next For Her Friday post).

IMG_20180902_165433_716[1]Gifts can be a great way of making your bae think about you

…seeing all those cute and crazy pictures reminds me that I have something beautiful to hold on to…

By positivism I mean how much you believe in your couple. Someone would literally declare the relationship over in her mind just because “all boys cheat” anyway. Yea, that could be true, boys cheat, men don’t.

The first thing you need to do is to believe that you can make it. You can never expect something to work when you don’t believe that it can work for you. Although I’d never been in a long distance relationship, I told myself to focus on the positive things that could result from it and I had to see myself pulling through. Stop thinking about all the negative things that could happen. Your life is shaped by what you think.

The next thing I (I’d rather say we) did was to prepare ourselves for it. How? Spend as much time as possible with your loved one before one of you goes away. Deliberately make an investment into your relationship by creating memories.

Take walks, just sit on a park bench and tell your bf what you really like about him and what you’ll miss. Don’t let the separation be an abrupt event, make it gradual at least 2-3 months. Another great way of doing this is taking lots pictures if you like pictures. There are times when I just browse my gallery and seeing all those cute and crazy pictures reminds me that I have something beautiful to hold on to.

IMG_20180723_092134_293[1]
Make memories and capture them

After being separated by distance one thing bae and I have done is to have quality time despite being in two different parts of the country. These days technology has made communication easier and you really need to make use of it. One of the things we do is making video calls and tallllllk. This doesn’t only feel awesome, it actually makes you feel like you are not so far from each other.

C’mon, he’s just a call away not hundreds of kilometers after all. If you can’t do video calls, do voice calls or anything that keeps the two of you in touch. If you don’t talk to him someone will and this could even be his own mind which leads to suspicion and suspicion leads to…. Yea, you got it right (I’m just assuming you did lol)

The most important thing you need to do if you ever want to pull through a long distance relationship is building your relationship on trust. Some girls can’t even let their boyfriends go out of their sight what more if he now has to be away from you? I talked about 5 things girls do that guys hate and lack of trust is definitely one of them.

I’m sure you’d get irritated too if your bf didn’t trust you. I’ve had many people asking me why I trust my boyfriend so much. Well, I guess it’s because I haven’t caught him. (Hahaha just kidding). My secret is I’ve learnt that trust is the secret to a healthy relationship regardless of distance.

I’m always positive and I never allow any negative forces to influence me. My friends now know this and they even fight any negativity that other people might try to bring. The problem is most of the time we allow other people to influence our relationships when our relationships should influence the world.

IMG-20180928-WA0059.jpg
Go-cart racing

Owww this one came from my bf…. “be in touch with his friends and surprise him even when you are not around….” 🙂

So there you have it. Long distance relationships can actually work out and its you and your partner who have to put in the effort. Remember to do the things he loves the most, build trust, be positive and have quality time together even when you’re not together. I hope you enjoyed reading this article and you found it helpful. Please share with me some of your tips in the comments section below and do follow and like my blog.

xoxo

Reblogged from https://nyashamatongoblog.wordpress.com

#MorningMotivation: Be wise and learn to Involve God in everything you do.

Joseph Nyamayaro | Nust-ZW
Less than minute read

1. Beauty is not a guarantee to marriage

2. Falling Sick does not mean you are about to die.

3. Getting rich is not the definition of prosperity.

4 Building a nice house is not enjoying luxury.

5. Sleeping on an expensive bed does not bring you sound sleep.

6. Driving a new car is not a guarantee that you gonna reach where you going.

7. Wearing expensive clothes does not guarantee smartness.

8. Having a family doctor does not guarantee permanent health.

9. Being highly educated is not a sign of wisdom.

10. Marrying a rich guy does not guarantee happy marriage.

11. Winning an argument does not mean that you were correct.

12. Whatever is done without the merit of Heaven is fake and temporal.

13 He who builds without God is building for nothing; & he who watches over a city without God, watches in vain.

14. Not everything is possible with man but everything is possible with God.

Have a blessed day GOOD morning🍓🔥🍈

I’m Zimbabwe, and I’m in an abusive relationship with Zanu PF

by Thandekile Moyo | @mamoxn 
5 minute read

MY name is Zimbabwe and I am in an abusive relationship with Zanu PF.

Domestic abuse is defined as “chronic mistreatment in marriages, families, dating and other intimate relationships”.

In 1979, a woman named Lenore E. Walker developed a social theory known as the cycle of abuse which explains patterns of behavior found in abusive relationships. Initially, it was called the battered women syndrome as in her study Lenore had only interviewed women who had been subject to domestic violence. Further study has shown this cycle applies in most cases of abuse regardless of whether it is men abusing women, women abusing men, men abusing other men or women on women abuse.

What she discovered is that abuse follows a certain pattern that becomes a cycle repeated over and over again until it is broken by either the abused person leaving, intervention from a third party and in some cases, death.

I have examined my relationship with Zanu PF and I have no doubt the relationship we have fits the cycle of abuse to the tee. The cycle has been modified over the years but basically has the following phases that are repeated over and over again over long periods of time.

* Honeymoon phase
* Tension building phase
* Explosive phase
* Reconciliation or calm phase

I started dating Zanu PF in 1980 after he saved me from Rhodesia, another abuser I will not dwell much on. To win my affections Zanu PF fought Rhodesia to the bitter end and drove them almost completely out of my life. I remember my independence from Rhodesia like it was yesterday. We marked it with massive celebrations that lasted late into the night. Zanu PF was my knight in shining amour. He offered me a sense of security and I felt he loved me dearly. This was undoubtedly our first honeymoon phase.

About a year later, Zanu PF accused me of infidelity. He’s a jealous man you see. He thought I wanted to leave him for ZAPU and went into a raging fit. I tried everything to convince him he was seeing things. He then told me he knew ZAPU was hiding arms caches which they wanted to use to destroy him, so as to take me from him. He made wild accusations and told me I was hiding ZAPU and did not love him. He then withdrew all his love and threatened to wipe out my family. This was the first tension building phase.

The first explosive phase came unexpectedly. There was nothing I could have done to stop it. Under the #Gukurahundi code name, Zanu PF killed thousands of people accusing them of hiding ZAPU. I have never known such fear in my life. I couldn’t believe he was capable of such. He said I had pushed him to do it. I made him kill them. I would weep day and night because of the pain he caused me. I told his family but they didn’t believe me. I found myself thinking it would be better to leave him and told him so.

When he realised I was about to leave his change was “catapultic”. He apologised profusely and promised he would never do it again. On the 22nd of December 1987, he and my father signed a unity accord. He agreed to go for counselling. Said he loved me, couldn’t imagine a life without me and therefore asked me to stay. He promised there would be no more violence. Some say my father only agreed so that the killings of my people back home would stop. I don’t know. Typical of abusers, after that Zanu PF chose to completely ignore the incident. This marked our first reconciliation phase.

The next few years were relatively calm. I can safely say we went back to the honeymoon phase. We all got along great and he was the man I had fallen in love with once again. Some of my relatives still hated him for the earlier incidents but to be honest I simply tried to forget about the incident. Although through it all I watched what I said, was on my best behaviour and tried not to provoke him.

In 1999, the MDC came on the scene and the tensions yet again began. MDC continued trying to woo me and in 2008 I decided to give him a chance. This led to another explosive phase where Zanu PF tortured and murdered my cousins and other relatives whom he accused of encouraging me to leave him. He beat us all into submission until we agreed to another unity accord. He decided to give MDC a few rights to me, what they called a power sharing deal.

We entered another calm phase and in 2013 I forgave him completely and broke all ties with MDC. We were back to the honeymoon phase which ended with another jealous rage on August 1, 2018. Since then we have been in the reconciliation phase. He is up to his usual tricks, has asked neighbours to come and help him wash his hands of the blood of August 1. He’s promising me the world again and claiming he has changed for the better. He is a new man, he says, and calls this the “new dispensation” of our marriage. I do not know what to make of it.

A few days ago he called in my brother Zenzele Ndebele for questioning because he intends to show a documentary of Gukurahundi, an era he refuses to acknowledge at all. He also sent his police force to arrest my friends in town, the vendors, who retaliated with surprising violence. Through all this my beloved Zanu PF takes no responsibility for his actions. ZAPU pushed him into Gukurahundi. He denies 2008 killings ever happened. He says MDC incited the August 1 army killings. He has never admitted to any wrong-doing. He says the vendors provoked him so he had no choice but to beat them up. He says he is as soft as wool.

Thomas L. Cory in the Healthscope magazine says by definition, a toxic relationship is one characterised by behaviours on the part of the toxic partner that are emotionally and, not infrequently physically damaging to their partner. He says a toxic relationship damages self-esteem and drains energy. A toxic relationship is not a safe place. It is characterised by self centredness, insecurity, dominance, control and we risk our very being by staying in such a relationship.

I am in a toxic relationship with Zanu PF and I know not what to do.

Curated Post from Zim Live: https://www.zimlive.com/2018/09/im-zimbabwe-and-im-in-an-abusive-relationship-with-zanu-pf/

#MorningMotivation: Never accept anything less than you deserve coz you teach people how to treat you

By Joseph Nyamayaro |Nust-ZW

Less than a minute read

Enjoy life as everything in life is temporary so if things are going good enjoy it because it wont last forever.And if things are going bad, dont worry it cant last forever either.

As I have said before, never hold on to anger as it is akeen to drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Remember Life is short smile while you still have teeth.

Good morning and have a blessed day🍒🍓

#WisdomWednesday: We are not given a good life or a bad life.We are given a life, it’s up to us to make it good or bad.

Joseph Nyamayaro | Nust-ZW
Less than a minute read

If you cant stop thinking about it, don’t stop working for it.

We are not given a good life or a bad life.We are given a life, it’s up to us to make it good or bad. In life, action is important as Rabindranath Tagore once said; “l slept and dreamt that life was a joy, l awoke and saw that life was a service .l acted and behold service was joy.

Also, remember the day that one frog decided to reach the top of a tree,  but other frogs shouted that it was impossible. The frog still managed to reach the top of the tree. How?Because he was deaf and he thought everyone was encouraging him to reach the top.Moral of the story: Be Deaf to negative thoughts if you aim to reach your goal.

Good morning and stay blessed

#MondayMotivation: The 3 Cs of Life -CHOICES,CHANGES,CHANCES.You must make a Choice to take a Chance or your life will never Change.👌

by Joseph Nyamayaro|Nust-ZW

30 second read

Success is a journey not a destination. Dont ruin today by thinking about a bad yesterday ,let it go.

Remember that Falling down is an accident…but staying down is a choice.Learn to Be proud of who you are and not ashamed of how someone else sees you.Always know that opportunities will knock at your door every morning but if you keep sleeping they will simply pass you by.

Good morning and stay blessed

Life is not about tears you shed, it’s about the love you spread.

by Joseph Nyamayaro |Nust-ZW

30 second read

Life is short so live it.
Love is rare so grab it.
Anger is bad so dump it.
Fear is awful so Face it.
Memories are sweet so cherish them.

Also you must know that The same boiling water that softens the potato ,hardens the egg.It’s about what you are made of not circustances.

Lastly work hard always as Hard work beats talent when talent doesnt work hard

Goodmorning and have a blessed sunday.